The angel of female happiness

Once upon a time, there was an ordinary girl named Jessie. Jessie heard voices from beyond, offering her life advice. The trouble was, these pieces of advice always turned out to be spectacularly bad, making Jessie’s life a complete mess.

Take, for instance, the guidance to enroll in a journalism program at a prestigious university, only to drop out in the fourth year to switch to an economics major at a run-down college. Or the suggestion to start as a journalist at a radio station, then abruptly quit to become an accountant for a small firm, hastily merging her half-baked economics knowledge with a two-week accounting course. Then there was the advice to marry Jack, only to simultaneously start a serious affair with Harry, followed by the instruction to marry Harry and then have a child with Jack, whom she had just divorced. At work, it was the same story: first, be gentle with everyone to make a good impression, and then suddenly become assertive and stand your ground on every issue. By the end of her life, Jessie realized that her advisor was not an angel of female happiness, as he first introduced himself, but rather an angel of female misery.

So, after a lifetime of suffering, Jessie finally passed away. In limbo, she found herself surrounded by an extraordinary crowd. Around her were women clearly stamped with the mark of success, apparently pleased with their lives (if one could say so in this context). They were all blondes, plastered with botox, sporting silicone in their massive lips and breasts. One held a tiny dog, another fiddled with Ferrari keys, and a third even managed to bring a young lover! They all looked down with genuine disdain at Jessie’s modest clothes and makeup, her unkempt nails, and the bags under her eyes. Even the angels flitting about couldn’t help but notice the stark contrast between Jessie and the others.

“Were you satisfied with your angel of female happiness?” Saint Peter asked Jessie when her turn came.

“With whom?” Jessie replied, perplexed, “Do you mean the angel of female misery who tormented me all my life?”

“Angel of female misery?” Saint Peter was taken aback, “I’ve never heard of such a thing. You’re in the group of lucky ones who were personally assigned an angel of female happiness.”

At this, Jessie broke down and wept like she never had before, pouring out all the sorrows of her life to Saint Peter. He couldn’t believe his ears. He demanded her file and… oops! A bureaucratic error. It turned out Jessie was doubly lucky. Due to a mistake, she had been assigned two angels of female happiness, each with a ready-made script for her happy life. In one, she was a successful chief accountant, adored by everyone at work, with a loving husband, Jack. In the other, a successful chief editor at a major TV channel, competent, valued by management and shareholders, with a loving husband, Harry. What a predicament!